


Can We Try That?

by waytoooutoftouch



Series: Can We Try That? [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attack, Pre-Canon, i love these two so much, mention of Connor?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 22:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11045859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waytoooutoftouch/pseuds/waytoooutoftouch
Summary: "There is no doubt that you have the academic abilities to contribute to our workplace as an intern, but, unfortunately, we cannot give you an internship position right now. Please apply again next year-That was all Alana could read before her eyes filled with tears, and she had to bite her lip to keep from breaking down in the school library."Basically, Alana has a panic attack in a bathroom and Zoe saves the day. This is my first work, I hope you guys like it!





	Can We Try That?

**Author's Note:**

> Yikes, this is nerve-wracking.  
> Basically, I'm complete Zolana/Galaxy Girls trash, and I don't think there's enough work about them, so I'm finally contributing something! (This is my first time posting anything on here.)  
> I think, from what I've seen in the fandom, that the representation of Alana and her high-functioning anxiety is kind of glossed over. And I imagine that a lot of her anxiety comes from grades and being 'productive' and such, so here's my interpretation of it. (Also, I had paragraph tabs in this, but they disappeared??)  
> This takes place in early May of Alana's (and Connor's and Evan's and Jared's) junior year, which would make Zoe a sophomore, if I'm correct.  
> I hope you guys like it! <3

_There is no doubt that you have the academic abilities to contribute to our workplace as an intern, but, unfortunately, we cannot give you an internship position right now. Please apply again next year-_

That was all Alana could read before her eyes filled with tears, and she had to bite her lip to keep from breaking down in the school library. With shaking hands, she logged out of her email and shut down the computer before leaning back in her chair.

What was she supposed to do over the summer now? She knew colleges looked at those kinds of things, and her 4.3 GPA meant nothing without work experience. Without a decent internship, she wouldn’t be able to get into a good college, which meant that all that she had worked for would be nothing and she would be a failure and-

Alana knew she was working herself into a panic attack, but she couldn’t help it. Ignoring her backpack on the ground, she stood up on unsteady legs and made her way over to the school librarian. “M-may I have a h-hall pass?” She forced the question out, hating the tremble in her voice. Ever since she was young, she had always prided herself on being very articulate, with well-thought-out sentences, but her words always left her whenever she was in a bad state, and she couldn’t help but stutter.

The librarian smiled at her, unaware. “Go ahead, Alana.” Normally, Alana would thank her, but she resigned herself to a stiff nod before stumbling out into the thankfully empty hallway.

It felt like years before she got to the girl’s bathroom, and she only felt worse afterwards. Thankfully, the stalls were empty, and she felt herself sink into a ball next to the hand dryer. _God, you can’t even walk. Pathetic. How are you supposed to function at all the in the real world, let alone be successful if you’re gonna have a breakdown every time something doesn’t go your way? No wonder you can’t do anything right. No wonder you have no friends._ “Stop it,” she whimpered before burying her face in her hands, feeling like she was choking.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Alana knew that she was okay, that she could apply for other internships and her stellar grades and extracurriculars would guarantee her one. In that moment though, all she could focus on was the screaming panic of failure. She couldn’t do anything right, could she?  


The lights were too bright. Alana couldn’t stop shaking and she swallowed before opening her mouth to try to take a deep breath, but she could only hold it for a split second before it was rushing out of her. _So pathetic, you can’t even breathe right._

The only thing she could focus on was her thumping heartbeat and rushed breaths, so she didn’t hear the bathroom door opening, nor the gasp and quick footsteps.

“Hey, Alana, right? Can you hear me?”

She choked back a sob in response. _Great, now everybody will know how sad and pathetic you are and you’ll lose all your friends. Oh, wait, you don’t have any._

“Shit, shit. Okay, um, I’m gonna touch you, is that okay?”

Then there was a cool hand on her wrist, and she jumped. It didn’t move, though, just rubbed her arm reassuringly. She had to admit, it was nice. 

The soft voice spoke again. “Can you look at me?”

There were still black spots in Alana’s vision, but she forced herself to look up. She vaguely recognized the person.

“This is probably the last thing you want to hear, but you’re gonna pass out if you don’t slow down your breathing. Just, just try to match mine, okay?”

She nods as best as she can, and there’s another hand on her shoulder as the other person takes slow deep breaths. It’s difficult, trying to take steady breaths with them when her lungs are screaming for air and her brain is still demanding that she panic, but the two hands, one still on her arm, the other on her shoulder, are grounding. It’s several minutes before her breathing is steady enough for her to say something. “I’m sorry.”  
“What for?”

Alana is calm enough to recognize the person in front of her as Zoe Murphy, sophomore and member of the jazz band. She shrugs, still blinking back tears, still shaking.

“Sh, sh, it’s okay,” Zoe reassures her, pulling her into a hug.

She can’t remember the last time someone hugged her, or comforted her like this. Ever since she was young, she had always gone through her panic attacks alone, due to both her lack of friends and her strict family.

“Why are you being so nice?” Alana whispered, her voice hoarse.

The other girl moved back with a slight frown on her face. “I don’t know, I guess I know what it’s like? At least, secondhand.”

That’s right. Zoe was Connor Murphy’s younger sister. Alana may not have been a part of the social scene at her school, but even she knew the rumors that surrounded him.

“And,” Zoe blushed, “I’ve been trying to muster up the nerve to talk to you for a few weeks now, and I was going to today. But when I saw you run out of the library, I knew something was wrong.”

Now it was Alana’s turn to blush. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. What happened?”

There it was. She shifted uncomfortably, and Zoe moved to sit next to her on the floor, their shoulders touching. “I-I got an email from a company I applied to intern at this summer. They rejected me, and I freaked out. It’s really not a big deal.”

“Well, I’m sorry anyways. And, um, I’m not very good at compliments, but I think any company would be lucky to have you,” Zoe told her with a nudge.

Alana smiled half-heartedly and nudged her back. The two of them sat in silence for a while, appreciating the other’s presence. Gradually, Alana’s thoughts slowed down, leaving her drained yet thankful for the youngest Murphy. She looked at Zoe from the corner of her eye. Zoe, who looked completely at ease sitting on the floor of the girl’s bathroom. She was wearing a pair of jeans with a simple pink-white top and her hair was down, the fluorescent lights reflecting off the brown strands. Somehow, she managed to look more comfortable in her current position than Alana had ever felt in her entire life.

“You good?” 

Alana blinked, realizing she had been staring at the other girl. “Yeah, sorry, I kinda zoned out.”

“We all do,” she replied, standing up before holding out her hand. Alana took it and pulled herself to a standing position, swaying slightly. It was only then that she realized just how drained she was, physically and emotionally. There was still four classes before the end of school and then a student council meeting and, oh God, she had a test in AP Biology and-

It was only when Zoe squeezed her hand that Alana realized she was still holding it. “C’mon, let’s get out of here,” she said.

Alana frowned. “Won’t you get in trouble?”

“Connor skips all the time, my parents won’t mind if I miss a few classes anyways,” she told her. “I know a really good ice cream place.”

Just like that, Alana smiled. The younger Murphy seemed to make everything better. “Thank you.”

Zoe said nothing, just squeezed her hand again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on Tumblr, I made a musical (mostly DEH) blog and I need friends.  
> @waytoooutoftouch


End file.
